Demanding guests in Free Live Chat? Short private chats, with members who only want to jump straight into the action without any social interaction with you? Does this happen with every model? On all webcam sites? What could really be causing it? Is there a way to avoid these kinds of situations? What is the secret to having long Private VideoChats, high quality members while having more fun and less stress at work? Don’t worry, throughout this article you will discover the answer to these questions and more!
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for WebCam Models to feel offended/ abused by unpolite members in their room (Free Live Chat and Private Video Chat) at some point. I define the terms “offensive” and “abusive” as any behavior that disrespects the human being behind the screen. Performing as a WebCam Model is not the same as acting like a porn star following the script of a porno flick. When we are talking about CamGirls we are talking about amateur models offering online live interaction, both social and sexual.
Despite the fact that WebCam Models are working many hours per day (and not filming just one movie per year), in psychological terms it is not possible for the human mind (when healthy and unperverted) to separate these aspects completely. The logic in question is basically the following (or at least it should be along these lines): I can expect to deal with very sick people during my day, but I cannot force myself to get sick as well in order to “secure my employment” or to “develop my career”.
All of these points should be obvious, but after 6 years of camming I still feel the necessity to remind my Industry colleagues. At least having the voice to write about it now gives me the opportunity to share what I have learned about how to correct the rude behavior of guests in my room, making them respect me instead of treating me like a living doll.
Some WebCam Models feel as though some guests are coming into their room and mistreating them or not behaving properly. Some claim that guests are rude and demanding and make nonstop requests. If you identify with these scenarios and/or if you would like to have more friendly and talkative members, I hope this article helps you (especially if you are just beginning your career or starting out on a new website and don’t have any regulars to “save” you 🙂
PEOPLE TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU ALLOW THEM TO TREAT YOU
If you aren’t happy with the way your members are treating you, the first thing you need to do is to change the way you treat yourself. Beautiful in theory but completely useless in practice? No way! I am going to show you how you can do this step by step:
1. Take care of and pay attention to your Model Profile: Maybe you think it’s meaningless, but it describes yourself and means a lot: it’s you, in a text-based version! Stop trying to impress members and grab their attention with potential keywords unrelated to your real, genuine expectations in your room. Describe yourself by showing them that you’re a real person and that they need to respect you as a human being before they enter the room to play with you;
2. Update your Status/Topic of the day: If you are in Free Live Chat and you work on a website which offers an option like “Status” or “Topic” of the day, don’t hesitate to advise members: “You are welcome to enter my room if you have the sensibility to understand that I am not a living doll, but a person just like you. The nicer you are to me, the better my performance will be and the more I will want please you”;
3. Make sure everybody is reading it: While you are talking to your guests in Free Live Chat, you need to educate them ahead of time to respect you. If they start being disrespectful (and only you can define this limit), just remind them about your status/topic or if it’s unavailable, to read your profile. According to my personal experience, 100% of the guests have apologized or left the room without insisting;
4. The website rating system: I have been discussing this problem with a friend and we jointly concluded that the root of the problem is not the members themselves but the rating system of the sites. The rating system forces us, models, to put up with abuse from members because we are afraid of receiving bad ratings as it will make us lose traffic, visibility, and reputation. So my suggestion is for models to talk to members in Free Live Chat before starting a show in Private and make sure they are polite enough;
5. Don’t be afraid to lose money: Rude guests who are just looking for a “porn actress to follow a script” NEVER stay more than a few minutes in Private and only make us feel worthless. Big spenders are those who are really involved during Live Interaction which is the real purpose of our job online;
6. Work your self-esteem: Don’t let anyone not treat you like a person. You don’t have to follow or accept every request, or deal with members who don’t bother saying “hi” or “bye.” Even if they claim that “they are paying, so you have to do it,” the reality is completely different. The idea of a CamGirl job is NOT to act like a sex machine or prerecorded porno movie, but to promote the LIVE INTERACTION between models and members, which includes the social aspect, and that is incontestable!!
A CULTURAL ISSUE BEHIND THIS MATTER
The argument that makes the most sense for this whole situation is not entirely related to money (members are paying for a service, as such models need to offer said service without complaining), but mainly to a cultural issue.
Historically, it was possible to find evidence of matriarchal societies during the BC era, in which the figure of the woman was considered sacred and a symbol of fertility, because of her capacity to conceive life. However, following the Ancient Civilizations, the value of women has gradually moved to a secondary position, within a patriarchal society without representation and political rights, confining themselves to domestic and family spheres. Only in the mid-XVIII century, the first movements emerged to fight for autonomy and more egalitarian conditions between the genders. The Human Rights Declaration set the first milestone for the struggle of freedom for all, including based on gender. Since then, many achievements have been reached, such as social representativeness, the right to vote and the labor market, recognition of women’s rights by the ONU, etc. However, in spite of the rights achieved, women continue living in this secondary position in our current society, being inferior and suffering innumerable prejudices and violence (not always physical).
This historical reminder is important to remind us that the male rudeness we deal with today in VideoChat has nothing to do with the famous “But they are being paid to…”, because when you buy any kind of service, you don’t really treat the person serving you like an object (in other words, the service doesn’t include the objectification of the person who serves it). What is happening in our rooms is a repetition of well-known macho behavior, incentivized and worsened by website rating systems. The main issue comes from the fact that all members are allowed to rate models, even those who interact with the model for just 1 or 2 minutes in Private – the bad rating negatively effects the model’s position on the site.
At this point in the discussion, let’s remember that social representations of gender are cultural burdens, the result of centuries of history, marked by inequalities between social roles for men and women. Female objectification is one of these social representations of gender and happens when a woman is reduced to a mere object for patriarchy, ignoring her emotional and psychological aspects, as well as her dignity. Would you like to see some examples of the macho culture in practice and imagine how it could affect a model? I can show you:
• “hi, how are you?” x I AM HORNY
• “could you please stand up?” x SHOW MORE
• “do you mind getting naked?” x CLOTHES OFF
• “do you like playing with yourself?” x TOYS BB
• “I’d love to hear you…” x MOAN MY NAME
I could continue adding to this list until the sun rises tomorrow (or the day after that), but I’ll save you the time and effort. I think these sentences are enough to express the main point of the question: the big issue is not content (the show) but the fact that there are two completely different ways to treat the model spending exactly the same amount of time in the room (a.k.a. the same amount of money). After all this dialogue, I think we can assume that there is a real cultural issue behind this situation.
As a final consideration, I can’t say that I’m happy to conclude that even after so many centuries, men and women still don’t have equal rights. Thus, the struggle for gender equality and female empowerment continues because there is still a long way to go in order to deconstruct the view of male supremacy that has been built and accepted for millennia.
On the other hand, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to write this article in an attempt to help models who share the same professional challenges as me and improve their quality of life and so much more. I am also happy to reach people who occupy other types of positions in the Live Cam Industry because it’s one of my goals in life (maybe just a dream?) – to humanize the Industry a little bit more. Once again, many thanks to AW News for giving me the opportunity to voice my thoughts and opinions!
-LiviaChoice- Communication Scientist with P.h.D & Webcam Performer [ImLive]